Tips to prepare for High School with Paul Richmond

ayecoachcam: 0:00

The high school process is nerve racking for a lot of parents and teens included. You ever wonder what you needed Today, Paul is going to give us some tips on how to be successful in high school and also some great acronyms. Please tune in. We're teaching our kids to have voices, but we're not teaching them how to use them correctly. Because I think we're afraid to give them that power. I think as adults, if we give them that power, we lose our sense of purpose in a way. Because then we can't have that level of control, if that makes any sense. Because then we can't correct them because if they feel right and then we give them that purpose, then. We lose our purpose. Does that make any sense? Yeah, now it makes

Paul Richmond: 1:25

perfect. It makes perfect sense. Somewhere along the line, it's gone from my days, a child where we just ran around all day and didn't come home till we heard our parents unique whistle or yell, and nobody knew it was happening. Put, played sports half the day long, but with no rules and no adults and no supervision and no, no coaches training you, you just try to figure it out. And there's an acronym I use in the classroom and with my teams all the time. The words failure, but it stands for first attempt in learning under real-world experience. And I think it's hard for parents to loosen those reins. So that can actually happen because I have two adult daughters and it's no fun watching your kid fail, but in the long run it's better. And it, it provides greater purpose for everybody to, to use the word you were saying, and then it helps your child or your student or your athlete maybe find their purpose in the meantime. Right?

ayecoachcam: 2:27

Absolutely. I read something. I said, nowadays kids think it's cool not to care. That's the thing, oh, I don't care. You don't care. Or you're afraid that, your failure is going to be out in the public, everyone to see. And we have to, the social media, whatever it is, it's not even a trend. Social media is here. It's just gotten people afraid to fail so much because it's just out in the world for everyone to see. And in my mind, I'm like welcome to being an athlete. You know what I'm saying? As an athlete your abilities or lack of abilities is on display all the time, and there's no hiding from it. Social media is just the, different way of, being seen and you guys got to get used to it. That's why I love sports. You can't hide. You can't hide from the moment you just gotta embrace it or you gotta learn from it and grow from it.

Paul Richmond: 3:13

Yeah. And hopefully you find a coach and teammates that all hold each other accountable. Especially during the tough times. Yeah. Say

ayecoachcam: 3:22

that a word again. That scares people

Paul Richmond: 3:24

accountable. Yeah. That scares people, man. So I'm a big acronym guy. So you might want to edit these out by the end of this because this stuff, man, my one acronym I love using in class is try and it's take responsibility for yourself. And it's amazing what happens. I hand out to students and athletes. It's called the mindset identifier and it's. So the left and right matrix, are you either self problems or cause problems? And you do that by either taking action or not taking action? So bear with me for one minute. So if you saw, if you cause problems, but you don't take action, you're just a whiner. If you cause problems and take action, you're toxic. If you solve problems, but don't do anything about it or take action. You're just a dreamer. And then if you solve problems and take action, you're a champion and I have it on my classroom and we can all fall into that. Listen, I can whine on my worst day as a teacher, right? I could wake up grumpy and be toxic. So when I, or my students are acting that way, we point to it and we call each other out on it and hold each other accountable. And we almost snap right out of it and start laughing. Not always cause bad stuff happens in our lives, but the sooner you can get to the champion side of the matrix, the better off. And the more you can repeat that and repeat that the better off you are. I did it. I did it more for me like, cause you can, I dunno. You can be so positive in life and people think you're a bobblehead and walking all around and have no awareness, but you just have to find a way the sooner you can snap out of it and realize every bad day, you have a perfect track record getting through the sooner you can get going and realize it's just part of your story and you can get better from it. But the bad times, when you really have to hold true to that it's easy to have your quote you live by or your social media where they brag about you getting three hits or two goals or doing something good. But the bad times, when you really have to have that, that, that motto to live by. So

ayecoachcam: 5:33

you need that model. You need something to lean on when it's tough. And I think it's important that we find that one thing that keeps us motivated keeps us grounded. Even in the good times we need those. We need those quotes to remember and remind ourselves that, it's not going to be like this forever one way or another.

Paul Richmond: 5:49

That's what we do. So to add to it. Yeah. I get the kids going so they're like Mr. Richmond, I you're saying I have to be a champion. I can't win and everything. And I say a champion isn't about winning. It's about a mindset and a lifestyle. So here comes to my next acronym. Champions are curious about learning. They're humble with their achievement. They advocate for others. They make the best of every situation. They pursue their interests. They influence those around them. They overcome adversity and never give up. So that's a champion and you're not always going to win, but if you do those things, I think you'll have a winning life per se. Yeah,

ayecoachcam: 6:30

absolutely. If you do those things, you're setting yourself up for success because winning is never going to happen all the time, but sometimes it puts you in a mindset of, okay, it's not my time.

Paul Richmond: 6:39

And, but you can't compare it to other people to what you're doing. And over time, you'll see a lot of successes. Yes. I agree with you a hundred percent. Do you think that's where that's again, that's where social media plays into this game because you surround yourself with your own echo chamber, right? Yeah. Yeah. And you're comparing instead of.

ayecoachcam: 6:59

Exactly and then you get caught up. And then you just wind up mimicking and copying what because you think that's what success looks like. You never find your own lane due to social media you just doing. What's popular right now at the moment you're doing what the trend is now at the moment, as opposed to finding your own niche, your own space. And that's what we have to push in our children constantly over and over again as to, and it's tough because, I know when you're you talk about when you're growing up? When I was growing up, social media wasn't even a thing either. We knew where everyone was because the bikes were outside the house.

Paul Richmond: 7:38

One, one thing. And I teach seniors. So it's a double-edged sword because by then they're short timers in high school. They're pretty rooted in their ways. They, and then you have, the senior-itis stepping in, but we right off the bat, I just get it out of my system that listen, that cell phone. That's their main source of social media. I'm not going to take it from them. I'm not gonna tell them it's bad for them. Every lesson I try to do in class, I try to keep that cell phone just out of the reach of their hands on the desk. And it's okay to look at it sometimes, but we call each other out when it's a distraction but I think what's most successful and this isn't hundred percent successful, but what's most successful for me. All of a sudden, there's a moment when they're doing something, I pick up my phone and they call me out. And it's not even the same thing because who knows, I might've been waiting for a phone call or might've been checking something, but it is in their eyes. And you gotta be accountable to each other. And when we start using it that way, it gets a little better. Then once we have that conversation I've gotten a lot of them convinced when they wake up in the morning, they don't need to check that phone for whether it's 10 minutes, 15 minutes. Some of them are actually pushing 30 minutes now where they journal a little bit or they just have a drink or a cup of coffee and even look outside. I know that sounds simplistic and corny, but they're starting the day under their control instead of under the control of this. Yeah. Those baby steps help. I

ayecoachcam: 9:10

know. I look that's sometimes that's what it is. As an adult, when I first wake up, the first thing I want to do is look at my email. Because I'm looking for, did the principal texts that admin texted a teacher texted did a parent text, did they respond? All of those things are going through my mind and I haven't even brushed my teeth or gone to the bathroom yet. So you laughing cause you, you understand what I'm saying? For the first 20 minutes, when you wake up, don't touch anything, go drink some water, go use the restroom, go stretch. Open your eyes for a second. Open your eyes for a little bit before you go out and start looking at the thing because it's going to be. No matter what you do that message that, whatever it is going to be there. And you just have to know, it don't feel like you're missing anything. Cause you're not missing anything. That's me talking to myself, everyone.

Paul Richmond: 10:01

The first thing you do is write down something that you're grateful for. And then you start compounding those grateful thoughts and you learn to move on from there. But if not, boy, the doubt and the distraction and the distortion that you can just find on that social media on that phone all day can literally change everything mindset perspective and what you accomplish.

ayecoachcam: 10:25

Today, we have my great friend. I'm gonna call him a friend, the teacher comrade, Paul Richmond. I'd like to welcome him to the show what's going

Paul Richmond: 10:36

on, Paul. Much. Thanks for having me. Cameron, this has been great. Even what we've talked about before we've been started talking. It's fabulous. Time's fine. I really appreciate you having me on no problem.

ayecoachcam: 10:48

Since you are in the high school realm my big question is what do you think middle schoolers need? What do you think are some of the things that they're missing? What do you think do you have any pointers for them to make sure they prepare for high school? What you got for me?

Paul Richmond: 11:01

That's a great question. So I asked my seniors when they come into my class, if they could go back and start high school all over again what would they tell their younger self? And I think about that, what would I tell my younger self? I'm 50, I'm going to be 50 next week and to a middle school, or I might as well be 300, right? It can't be that's so far away. That's so far away. But the biggest thing is to just never be afraid of. To talk to anybody that's trying to help you. And one thing I always tell my seniors when I'm start venting or lecturing, or when their parents are talking to them and they don't agree with them, I've been your age. You've never been my age. So you've got to at least take that into consideration that there might be a message in there somewhere. So if you can just talk to anybody that's ever trying to help you, if you're a middle school kid coming into high school, at least listen, before you make an assumption before you judge, before you do anything else. Now that's a very hard age to do that at, I think the sooner you can get that mentality to do that, the better off you are that's my biggest take. And you can do that through just constantly trying to hone your communication skills and to do the hone communication skills. We're not talking to seven seconds. Tick-tock right. We're not talking an Insta post or a Snapchat with a filter. We're talking just genuinely listening. And the second thing I would tell middle schoolers is they all like to spend money. I think that's a universal fact. It's usually their parents, but yeah, and in kids are very good about it through flipping or side hustles, and that continues on as you get to high school, the sooner you can figure out just a few ways to make a couple extra bucks and you learn to invest that I won't get too technical, but through a brokerage account where you have an adult as the custodian, and you just start adding to that every week, you will not even recognize yourself someday. I hope I didn't go too far with that, but I feel like the sooner you learn to make some money and use it as a tool instead of just blow it. And then the sooner you learn to listen to people, trying to help you, because they've been your age and you haven't been their age, there might be a message there. Those two mindsets, I think, get the ball rolling. And you know that they're going to grow tremendously from middle school to when they finish high school. But if we could try to parents and teachers and mentors try to get those two messages across to those kids, I think literally the world is their classroom. At that point.

ayecoachcam: 13:32

I love that. Yeah. Don't be afraid to listen to the people trying to help you. I find that the children are afraid to listen because they're afraid of change. And I know the middle school. They're finding sense of self. So why are you telling us to, you're telling me this to impede my sense of self because their emotional level is different from their logic level. I just recently watched the Ted talk and a young lady, talked about, and I said, huh. So she says, it's not good to argue with children or teens because their response is always going to be emotional before their logic catches up. Whatever they're upset about, if you start arguing with them, then they're mad at you. Now it's your fault. But then an issue never gets dealt with, right? So you have to wait for them to calm down before their logic circuits kick in the hardest thing to do as an adult, right? Because you feel this level of disrespect happening as this teen is using adult language against you. And you're feeling a certain way, but you have to wait for it to level off. And then once the logic. Okay, can you start to notice that, everything is starting to make sense? So I heard that and I said, oh then that, that makes a little bit of sense to me. I can dig that.

Paul Richmond: 14:44

Yeah. Yes. So as adults, it's important. If I'm getting the gist of this talk, we don't have to have the last word we have. We have to be bigger. And when the emotions kick in, when they're saying something that might trigger us, we've got to not respond to. And then I think they cool off quicker. Then you can negotiate or talk. And when I was speaking about my mindset chart earlier, that's what a whiner does. They have their emotion, they don't want to take action. They just want to cause problems and you can't negotiate with a Wiener. So you have to let them cool down the logic takeover, but it might mean they have the last word in the short term. In the short-term. But

ayecoachcam: 15:20

in the longterm they're figuring it out and the good ones usually come back and go, okay. Yeah. Or with children tend to do, they give you the hard time, but then they apply it elsewhere, and then you're like, oh, okay, you got the message. You just being a child. But they event, they eventually get it and they will get it and they will apply it. You just have to be patient. But definitely ask for help, use the help around you and save your money.

Paul Richmond: 15:46

Oh, so I, it's another side story. I have a partner and we have a book on Amazon about teaching financial literacy and it stems from the fact that just there's a lot of creative ways to make money and eat your honey bun and have your chocolate milk or have whatever. But there's, you can always set a little bit of it aside and it's a lot of good rules for life. A little bit of discipline, a little bit of delayed gratification, and I'm not saying it's perfect, but I think it's the start of a proper mindset. That's all

ayecoachcam: 16:17

easier said than done easier said than done, but you're absolutely right. It starts early, but if parents and the child are in on it together, then it becomes. A joint mindset together and the checks and balances some similar to, we talked about earlier with the phone, right? The checks and balance systems you have with your students. You can do that at home children and parents. So that's awesome.

Paul Richmond: 16:40

One quick thing. One quick thing. If you if a parent starts a custodial account through like a TD Ameritrade, it's called the account uniform transfer, minor agreement. The parent is the custodian but I tell the kids you they always talk about the real flex, right? The real flex is when I do this, as soon as you turn 18, the real flex is your parents drop off that account. And there's nothing they can do about it. And I think that's a pretty good way to start adulthood. So we joke about it but you can even come across it that way to maybe gain interest,

ayecoachcam: 17:14

that's good notes. I'm I might have to write that down too, kids need to hear that as well. They think money grows on trees. They think that, parents pockets are deep, perhaps pockets are not that deep. Just keep that in mind. Children, when your parent gets an attitude, they buy you food and you get upset and throw it out and don't like it. And you see them upset. Trust me, you just threw away like $15 worth of food that could have went to something.

Paul Richmond: 17:37

Yeah. That causes, that can cause a lot of stress and anxiety and emotion on both sides. Right?

ayecoachcam: 17:45

Absolutely. Absolutely. So speaking of food, I read that you started of a food truck business.

Paul Richmond: 17:53

So

ayecoachcam: 17:53

we'll talk about that little passion project there, a food truck business. Yeah,

Paul Richmond: 17:57

it's funny. Again, without getting into too much detail a class, I, I. I have seniors when they're juniors, they come from eight different school districts and they apply to be in my class, they interview. And I only take the top 28 kids and it's called innovation leadership in business. So I'm lucky in those regards, but they keep me on my toes and it's centered around entrepreneurship and community work and things like that. And I always challenged them to start a project. And my podcast partner, Matt, that you'll meet someday. He comes in as a business mentor and challenges them to start a project. So these two kids came up with the idea. They want to buy a school bus, one of the shorter ones and call it the cheese bus and sell charcuterie boards, the cheese platters and cheese products out of it. And he challenged him on it. I challenged him on it. They came up with some money. He funded the rest. They actually formed a business partnership. And by the end of their senior year, They had this cheese bus, it was wrapped. I it's the www the cheese bus.com. You can see the bus all wrapped up and we live in upstate New York where there's the finger lakes. So there's a lot of wineries and breweries and they get booked to events and they drive around and sell all their products. And they made a killing last year and they needed some help with a website. They needed some help booking all the days they wanted to work. So I was helping them with that as their teacher. And then when they graduated, they came back to me and gave me some equity in the company so that I, there, I helped them. And now that they're graduated and went to college we're business partners, and, it's like we were talking about with the student, you talk to that came back and is doing well in life. It's been so rewarding to teach students and now have a professional business relationship with them to

ayecoachcam: 19:45

that is amazing, hard work, paying. Fruits of your labor cause this, it's difficult. Like you, you gotta you're teaching them about business. You're teaching them how to handle money. You're teaching them how to work with others, life skills, right? Anywhere you look, it's about life skills. And I love hearing that because our previous conversations is about you being a coach, but being a coach and teacher can apply, you can apply that anywhere. And I am, as a fellow coach and teacher, I appreciate you for taking your skills and applying it elsewhere, not really getting yourself to just the field or the court. You've just, it's okay, let, how can I help these students in life? What's an effective way. Oh, let's make a bus, a business and sell cheese and create something, but you told them you gave them a nice skill. You gave them something to do with their hands. And then the reward was what they came back. They remember they know who to go to and not, and I think stories like that. It's a wonderful, that's why you're an important member of the right. That's why I believe in the village. Teachers and coaches have students eight to 10 hours out of the day, right? So what we do for them is vital to their success. More so than a parent and not the same parent is not important, when you're with the kid, most of the day, they're gonna, take on some of the attributes. So it's important. We set them up for success, be the lanterns that they need. We light their way. Light their way. So thank you. Wow. You're you are officially a villager in my book. You

Paul Richmond: 21:09

have now become a villager I'm honored. And if I could add one lesson to even middle schoolers or younger kids, I'm a firm believer, like when I was helping them with all that for their business, I wasn't expecting anything in return. And I think we live in a society sometimes that when you do something for somebody, you expect something back and when you just help others and serve others, I believe it comes back your way. And we don't know when always. Great. We never

ayecoachcam: 21:36

know. If or when it will come back. It's just a labor of love. Be that lantern it's such a beautiful thing, such a rare thing. It's a gift that you have. And I want you to remember that even when you get to appreciate

Paul Richmond: 21:48

that, I'm going to remember that. Yeah. It's a gift

ayecoachcam: 21:50

you have. So

Paul Richmond: 21:52

We can't hear that enough. We don't hear that enough yeah.

ayecoachcam: 21:55

We don't hear it enough. We don't hear it enough. And we don't look for it enough and sometimes we need it. Sometimes we need it, and we don't realize because we're so busy, just plugging away. Trying to help the children and then be like, why are we so tired? Why is it dragging? Why is it because, sometimes it's nice just to hear, Hey, you're doing a good job or, and then you're good. You're good for six more months, just won't shine. And, and that's true. The second time I'm talking to Paul and just hearing his stories, I know the type of person he is. So I know me telling him, keep going, it's working. That's all you need to hear sometimes once in a while, it's just say, Hey, I see you, you working, go take a break, go sip some water, get back in the game, keep working. That's it. It's happening now. Sometimes that's all we need to hear.

Paul Richmond: 22:41

And I appreciate that. And I'm going to tell you, shout out to you because you mentioned the word earlier with middle-school patience you must have a ton of God. Bless all you middle school teachers.

ayecoachcam: 22:53

Yeah, I feel funny. Like I started out as a kindergarten teacher, actually, I started out as a kindergarten teacher and then I taught second grade. I fell into middle school. I don't know how, cause I was like, I'm not doing middle school,

Paul Richmond: 23:05

You think it's a fabulous mission. You're on it really is. Thank you.

ayecoachcam: 23:10

So Paul, what. Other ventures, do you have going on? How can people reach out and find you?

Paul Richmond: 23:17

I appreciate that, Cameron. I like to tell my students, I practice what I preach and when COVID first started and we had it a lot of time on our hands, I actually became securities licensed and I have a financial business on the side where I help people invest still coaching. I coach varsity volleyball and JV girls basketball. So that keeps me busy most of the year. Every year my class brings a speaker into a community and fills an arena with students. And this year we're bringing the people can reach out and see him online. Cam F awesome. He's coming to our schools to talk. People can find me on Twitter at the coach, rich I'm on LinkedIn as Paul Richmond. Those are my two big social media forums that I use. And, I've been coaching and teaching. Like we mentioned earlier it's just something that's in your blood. And I think if you don't do it, people don't understand. And it's hard. And I think if you don't have other interests along with it you can get caught up in a world that is just so draining it. There's nothing to energize as you're given you don't always get the same feelings coming back until later in a student's life. And it's just hard. So you have to keep going and find some outlets to gain some energy and to pursue other interests as well. If that makes sense. Our podcast is anecdotes for success. We target a younger twenties crowd usually. It'd be appropriate for any age. And we bring guests on that. Talk about their success stories through the pillars of truth, meaning trade-offs and perspective. And what we find is they all have a time. It's almost like a movie. They all have a downtime where they thought they couldn't go on and they forged ahead. And that's why we come up with a phrase success isn't linear. And I feel like the more stories like that, you hear just like the more stories you're trying to get middle school kids to hear that you get inspired and something might click over time. That just helps you move forward. So very similar to what you're doing. Absolutely. That's why you're coming on sometime. That's the promise.

ayecoachcam: 25:18

Just maybe just email me. You're no, I'm there. Therefore you will. All right. I like to thank Paul for coming on the show. Thank you for your kind words. Thank you for your expertise. Thank you for helping me prepare our middle school students and their parents. And most importantly, thank you for becoming a village here. All right. And that's it for our village stories. Make sure you like and subscribe to the channel. Also, you can find me on ayecoachcam.com. I got some passion and grit Merch for you to try on become a villager. Appreciate. Y'all like to end with a quote, any and everything you do you do it with passion and grit find your passion and get to it thats ayecoachcam.