How to accept failure without accepting failure

Hey, villagers. We all know that failure is a part of life, correct. But do we absorb that failure or do we use the failure as life lessons do we teach our kids how to handle failure? A lot of us, we accept our failures, but then we hold on to it way too long. We don't use it to grow. Today I have a live recording. From an act called wisdom. Why jump on every once in a while and do something called halftime adjustments. And I talk about how to handle failure without accepting your failure. This app also allows guests to jump on at any period of time during the conversation Samantha joined into life according to talk about her experiences with her grandmother and how they dealt with failure and also how to find positive energy and everything. So we're going to call these the halftime adjustments, but it also speaks to the fact that we need to make adjustments in our life. At times we need to take a break to figure out what's going on, make adjustments, and then head back out there. So I like that segment and I'm going to keep it. So today's topic is called how to accept failure without accepting failure, how to accept failure without accepting the failure. And so those of you coming in, I like to tell things through stories. I am also a teacher middle school teacher. And something happened yesterday that was eye opening and it also broke my heart and I felt that we need to, I need it to be addressed on here for any parents out there or anybody who's involved with children. the children were having a difficult time yesterday, it's a little warm outside and. They don't want to be at school necessarily, and they're not doing well in my class for whatever reason, missing assignments and I'm talking and I have one individual say they don't have to listen because they're already failing my class. And instead of me getting. And, scolding them and going oh, you need to do this. You need to do that. It's no, this is what we call learning moments. teachable moment. So I brought the whole class in after hearing this statement and I had to explain to them that for one, they need the credit to get into high school. PE is a core class, whether they want to believe it or not. The other, the main thing that was glaring was that, child was willing to accept the failure and not try to learn from it, grow from it. It was, I'm just an accept. This is what it is. I'm failing it and I'm going to fail the next it and not find a way to find a level of success and a MySpace or any other space. And. I think we have to find a way to empower our children and encourage them that failure is okay. You can accept failure because you're not going to do well in anything, but you can't just accept the failure. You can't just say, oh I'm failing at it. And that's it. And just move on. A lot of what's going on now is that we live in a world where everything is instant, right? Tick, tock, tick tock message in seven seconds or somebody funny in 30 seconds, or if they don't grab your attention to 10 seconds, we move on. And that's the society we live in, but we don't teach perseverance anymore. We don't teach growth. We don't teach Learning from what we've done and building and using these failures as building blocks to find success. And it starts at a very early age and having that mindset needs to change or else, we won't push ourselves beyond what everybody else expects us to be. We put our own limitations on ourselves because we feel that this is what it's supposed to be, and it's not capable and needing to be greater than what we show each other. And I think it's important that we instill that in our children, because these are the ones that are going to be running our country. As we get older, these are the ones who are going to be making decisions for us. And if they're not willing. Persevered now it's just going to be let's just do this real quick. Let's just make quick decisions. And then they're going to wind up putting themselves in a very precarious situations because they haven't been taught how to sit and figure things out, like to be upset. A perfect example. I had one of my players a few years ago. He was getting hacked and butchered. He was getting foul ref. Wasn't gonna call foul and. I pull to the side and say, listen, go get a sip of water, pull yourself together. And I'm going to put you back. So either you're going to be successful or you're not, you're going to find a way to get it done. There's nothing you can do about how the ref is calling the game. The only thing that could change is your attitude towards it. So he, upset a little bit class, a little bit wipes. His eyes takes a sip of water, lets me know he's ready. Put them back in the game gets fouled is frustrated, throws couple of elbows, just to clear them out, get some frustration out. Instead of asking to come out the game, wanting to stay. I wanted to push a few years later, that person became a starter a few years later, that person now plays in. High-school why? Because in that moment he made a decision. Like no matter what happened, I'm going to persevere. I'm going to push myself through this tough situation and the power as a, as an adult that we have on these children is very impressive. And we have a responsibility to teach them how to accept failures and push through. Like I said, if anybody wants to jump in on this topic, I got this little cat sleeping on the side. So I'm asking guests to join. Maybe the cat was sleeping on the side, but I think that I feel, I believe. That we have to teach them how to push past these failures, how to find success. Oh, I got somebody waiting to jump in. Here we go. We have Sammy, Sandy wants to come in, let me. One and eight Sandy to the show. Good morning. Thank you. I'm excellent. How are you? I am doing well. I'm doing well. I just, this topic touched me and I said, I gotta talk to somebody about it. I gotta figure it out. Let's see. I I wanted to say so I'm a professional musician. I've been a touring musician for about 20 years and there's been some pitfalls along the way. And as far as how to accept failure without accepting the failure, I think the key lies in. Knowing that there will always be greater and lesser persons than yourself when it comes to your abilities and having the wisdom and know how to take the advice of those who have come before you and accepting constructive criticism. Like just because you're not the best right now, doesn't mean you don't have the potential. Become, whatever it is, your hoping and striving to achieve. Does that make sense? Oh, wow. Perfect sense. It makes perfect sense. I believe like a lot of our students now it's hard for them to accept criticism because like I said, they're so used to get everything, what they want instantly and right away that when you give them criticism and they feel they have to change, they shy away from. 'cause now, it almost feels like they have to perform. They have to check themselves and dealing with middle-schoolers is such an impressionable age where they're trying to find themselves, they trying to, see who they are, who their friends are and any tests. Yes. Testing the waters. So being able to accept Chris' criticism is also a very valuable. Piece that they must have, but we just oh, it's okay. Don't worry about it. You'll figure it out. But we have to give them the tools. Yeah, to help him to help them figure it out. And I'm glad you, you came on and talked about that as a musician, because a lot of those life skills, they transitioned what they transitioned musicianship. They transitioned through sports. They transitions to being actors and actresses. Life skills are being taught through these different arts and mediums. So I really thank you for bringing that up. to share out. Do you have any stories of how about this? How do you have any stories of when you you were at a time where you felt like you wanted to stop being a singer because of, some criticism or it started to become too difficult and you found. Very fortunate in my life to have always known what my career path was going to entail. I've wanted to be a professional musician since I was 13, 14 years old. There was no doubt in my mind that I was going to achieve that somehow. And I learned from a very early age. That if I was going to make it, I needed to listen to the advice given to me from people that had already been there and done that. And I thank my grandmother for instilling in me the ability to accept constructive criticism for what it is. And And learn from it because that's what it is. It's a growing process. I, and I've made some terrible tracks in my life. Like I've never, I, it takes work. I always tell aspiring musicians, it takes work to do what you love and make a career out of it. It's not something you're just going to be good at overnight. It takes hard work and dedication and there will be tears. And there will be times when you feel in the moment like you want to give up, but those are the times that you need to take a small break, walk away from whatever it is you're doing, get a, orange juice or something to replenish those vitamins, and then get right back to it. Don't fall into that trap of, I'm not good at it. Because you are absolutely worthy of allowing yourself to follow your dreams. Just know that it's not going to be presented to you most likely, like you're going to have to strive and have ambition and want to succeed. There has to be that fire in your belly. You know what I mean? Oh, absolutely. And I find that now we, why are we so afraid of the work We see the instant success, right? Oh, they have 3 million followers and it just happens overnight. And no they've worked at it. They wouldn't, they, there was a time where there was only 10 streams for about six months, but they still stayed and he persevered, but they don't, there's this connect of the work in the middle it's I wanted to start something and I really like it and I want to be good at it. I'm going to be successful. Great. But then you have to do that work. You got to do that work and thank you to your grandmother. I believe that was your grandmother who stayed with you, giving you a device along the way, but then you also took the time to listen. Yes, absolutely. She taught me what it means. To listen with your whole body, not just your head, if that makes any sense. And understand that if someone is offering constructive criticism or even just criticism, it's not typically coming from a place of hate, these people genuinely want to see you succeed and do your best, and they feel like they have. A tool that you don't have in your toolbox. So why not give it a shot if it works for you? It works. If it doesn't, what do you have to lose? You know what I mean? But as far as the instant gratification thing goes I definitely understand that we, as a society, I believe, and it might be because of the internet or whatever you want to blame it on. We have this need for instant gratification. And a lot of the arts are suffering from that. It seems like a lot of stuff that's being released right now is almost lazy and its entirety. And that it's really hard to hear. Yeah, exactly. And I understand where we're talking about pop music, which is created to generate revenue and make people feel good and yada yada that's not my genre and what I do, but it's still feels quarterly produced and thrown together in five minutes. And, I just don't understand it. If you're working on any projects or anything that you want to talk about right now, you've got a few seconds to talk about. Yeah. I'm working on an album now with my new band cadence and the Coda. We're about halfway finished and we're looking to go on tour. The link to my latest album is in my profile page. If anyone's bored and wants to give it a listen, you can listen to it and even download it for free if you so choose. I really believe in giving music away because music should be shared. That's the point. And yeah. Thank you for letting me plug that. Thank you Sammy for coming on and thank you for your your input and your insight. And please for anybody go check out Sandy's page, go listen to some music. Love is free, being supportive as love. And I think we should all do that for each other. And so much, much success. The Sammy and her work. I'm gonna go check that out later as well. The one thing, she brought up one thing and. And I wrote it down cause it's so I wouldn't forget when she told me about grandmother, she's talking about listening with your body, right? Posture is everything like how we can give as much information as we want. Like right now, as I was talking, I was slouched over, but then I realized my posture was horrible. So I sat up and now I feel better, a little bit more confident about, what I'm speaking about at the moment. The idea of listening with your whole body is so key, right? Because you're feeling you're not only receiving the message from that person. Who's trying to give you advice, but you're also receiving that energy, right? You're receiving the, some of the experiences that they're trying to convey through that message to you. You need to feel it through your body and then you become more are receptive To what they're saying, and then you're able to build a better connection. So if you're like leaning forward, like half of my students in half listening, then you might only get half the message or you only going to hear the part that you want to hear. And, being that, that middle school age is very, like I said, very talk, very tender. They they definitely only want to hear what they want to hear and they're ready to talk. Whenever they feel like it, but it's your job as parents, as people. I, you know what, I'm not going to say, just parents, I'm going to say people of the village. So one big village the children are our responsibility. They didn't make a choice to be here. We told them they had to be here. So while they're here, let's help them out. Once again, we have to teach them not to just accept failure, just with accept, accepting failure. We have to use every. As teachable moments where I know we're raising them to be adults and the more people who give the same message, the more likely they are willing to accept that message and absorb it through their body. Posture, you feed their postures, feed them. I want to thank Samantha for jumping on the wisdom with me, which I do every Thursdays. I call it halftime adjustments I allow guests to jump on and get their perspective on particular topics. Make sure you hit that like and subscribe button to our village story. Also become a villager and join our mailing list. That links will be in the show notes for you. Thank you for lighting your lanterns and joining us. We'll see you next week with our village stores. Remember any and everything you do, you do with passionateFind your passion and get to it.